Sunday, January 25, 2009

CHANGE= A GOOD THING!

Okay, so lately I've been feeling oh so confused with just about everything in my dramatic life! I seem to be in a state of limbo until I make some very crucial decisions that will surely effect a lot of people, and will have a great impact on my overall happiness... Change is terrifying, yet completely necessary. It's inevitable! In fact, I think that some of the greatest changes I now face will prove key to unlocking the girl inside me who is desperately trying to claw her way out. I've been slightly confused for a bit of time now, and I'm dying to let loose, do the unexpected, and reach for the dreams I began to doubt were possible....

I've also started to believe in fate... I've been on a mission to keep my eyes open for signs as of late. Anything at all, any subtle guiding forces telling me that I'm doing the right thing... Although I'm certain that I've gotten many signs and I'm confident in the feelings that have led me to this place, I am still incredibly scared. Life is certainly terrifying, yet exhilerating... I've decided that I'd much rather live life on the edge, feeling free to explore and experience the greatest of feelings and adventures. However, the meticulous, worry-wort Virgo inside is screaming to me that I 'need to take caution', and be smart about how I go about these endeavors...

I guess my biggest fear in life is simply letting others down. I'm always paranoid that I might disappoint someone I love. I hate living like that! I wish I would just do exactly what I wanted more often and stop worrying so much! 

Although I love to have fun, smile, and laugh, sometimes I feel like these natural joys are a bit forced and are not in their purest, truest form. I want to feel completely blissful more often, and so that is my main goal for now!